Why Being Still Isn’t the Same as Resting

What my nervous system needed to experience rest

Nobody had really taught me how to help my system downshift from the inside out.

Here’s the part I find remarkable: your heart actually has its own intrinsic nervous system, a network of nerve cells that helps regulate cardiac function. Researchers have sometimes described this as a “little brain” in the heart. And there’s constant two-way communication happening between the heart and the brain. Your heart rhythm, breathing, muscle tension, emotions, and thoughts are all part of a beautifully interconnected system.

Through my HeartMath training, I became particularly interested in something called heart rate variability (HRV), which refers to the natural variation in time between heartbeats. HeartMath researchers have spent decades studying patterns in HRV, including a state they call coherence, where the heart’s rhythm develops a more ordered, wave-like pattern.

What’s especially interesting is that we can influence these patterns through something as simple as our breathing.

Research on slow-paced breathing, typically around six breaths per minute, has found measurable effects on heart rate variability and other cardiovascular functions. Studies of HRV biofeedback have also found benefits for some measures of stress and emotional well-being, although the findings aren’t uniform and results vary from person to person.

For me, this opened up an entirely new way of thinking about rest.

I began recognizing that my brain-heart-body system was continually responding to information and signals, and that I could intentionally offer it cues that supported settling and regulation.

Instead of simply lying down and hoping my body would relax, I began practicing gentle, comfortable breathing, bringing my attention to my heart, connecting with feelings of appreciation or gratitude, and using EFT tapping to acknowledge and work through what I was experiencing emotionally.

And over time, these practices have become an incredibly valuable part of my life.

Why the heart matters to God, too

Here’s something else I find beautiful. Did you know the Bible mentions the heart hundreds of times? By many counts, more than 800, depending on the translation and which word forms are included.

The Hebrew word lev (also levav) and the Greek word kardia refer to much more than the physical organ. In the biblical understanding, the heart represents the center of our inner life, where our thoughts, desires, intentions, will, and emotions come together.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts, because everything we do flows from them.

I find myself coming back to that Scripture again and again.

Of course, the biblical writers weren’t describing heart rate variability or modern nervous system science. But I find it beautiful that Scripture places such importance on our inner world, and that we’re continuing to discover just how interconnected our physical and emotional lives really are.

When we’re carrying fear, stress, grief, or emotional overwhelm, it can affect so much more than our thoughts. We might notice it in our breathing, our energy, our relationships, our ability to concentrate, or even our capacity to be still and enjoy the things we love.

I’ve learned that tending to what’s happening in my heart is an important part of caring for my whole self.

And I love that Jesus speaks about rest in such a relational way.

In Matthew 11:28–30, He invites those who are weary and carrying heavy burdens to come to Him and receive rest. He describes Himself as gentle and humble in heart.

I think about that invitation often.

Rest is something we can receive in relationship with Him. And for me, learning to slow down internally and become present with Jesus has become a beautiful part of experiencing that invitation.

It’s one of the reasons I love Christ-focused meditation so much.

Learning to meditate with my whole self

When I guide someone through a Christ-focused meditation, I’m not asking them to somehow force their mind to become completely quiet or empty.

We’re learning to become present, to notice what’s happening inside us, and to gently bring our attention back when it wanders. And we’re making room to connect with Jesus in the midst of whatever we’re experiencing.

Sometimes that begins with something as simple as our breathing.

Here’s a little heart-focused practice you can try right now:

Find a comfortable position and, if it feels good, place a hand over your heart. Begin by noticing your breathing, without needing to change anything immediately.

Then gently allow your breathing to slow to a comfortable rhythm. You might try breathing in for about five seconds and out for about five seconds, imagining the breath flowing gently through the area of your heart. If that feels too slow or uncomfortable, simply return to a pace that feels natural and easy for you.

As you breathe, bring to mind something or someone you genuinely appreciate. It might be a person you love, a beautiful place in nature, or a moment when you experienced God’s kindness. Rather than simply thinking about gratitude, see if you can allow yourself to experience a little of that appreciation.

And from there, gently turn your attention toward Jesus.

You might quietly pray, “Jesus, here I am. Help me become aware of Your presence and receive Your peace.”

Stay there for a few moments, allowing yourself to simply be with Him.

And when your mind wanders, as minds tend to do, just notice and gently bring your attention back. There’s no need to be frustrated with yourself or try to get everything perfect.

I love practices like this because they bring together so many things I’ve learned over the years: breathing, nervous system regulation, heart-focused awareness, emotional connection, and the beautiful simplicity of being present with God.

And they don’t have to take a long time to be meaningful.

What this season has been teaching me

The last few months have been particularly full. I’ve been teaching, continuing to deepen my understanding of somatic and nervous system work through additional certifications, releasing the first live cohort of Arise & Shine, and creating new guided meditations and resources.

Through all of it, I’ve been very intentional about practicing what I teach.

I’ve been doing my EFT tapping, somatic breathwork, taking short walks, and spending more time simply resting with Jesus.

And recently, I felt the Lord reminding me of something that I’ve been thinking about quite a bit:

Rest is far more productive than we realize.

I love that.

Because even our time with Jesus can become something we feel we need to accomplish. We read, study, pray, journal, seek answers, and work on growing spiritually. And I love all of those things!

But sometimes I simply want to be with Him, without an agenda or anything I need to accomplish during that time.

Just enjoying His presence.

I’ve also been noticing how differently I approach work and recovery these days.

I used to push hard and get sick. Now, I still love doing quality, focused work, but I intentionally surround those periods with recovery practices. I might spend time breathing or praying before I begin, take a short walk between work sessions, or practice EFT tapping and somatic awareness after a particularly demanding day.

And sometimes what I genuinely need is sleep, time away from work, or an afternoon of doing very little.

I’ve learned that not all rest is created equal. Simply stopping an activity and actually experiencing restoration can be two very different things.

For me, learning to support my nervous system’s recovery has made a meaningful difference in how I work, rest, and live.

And I’m continually amazed by how beautifully God designed our bodies and how much we can learn when we begin working with them rather than constantly pushing against them.

If you’ve been trying to rest but still feel anxious, exhausted, or internally busy, perhaps there’s an invitation here to become a little more curious about what’s happening inside.

What helps your breathing soften? What helps you feel a little more settled or connected? What allows your heart to open and your mind to become more present?

And what might change if you began intentionally making room for your whole self—body, soul, and spirit—to experience the rest that Jesus invites us into?

It’s something I’m still learning, and something I’m deeply grateful to be able to share.

A little invitation to practice with me

I recently released a new 20-minute Christ-focused guided meditation, Quieting the Anxious Mind, on YouTube.

It’s an opportunity to slow down, reconnect with your breath and body, and spend some intentional time becoming aware of Jesus’ presence.

[Watch the free guided meditation on YouTube]

And if you’d enjoy having more practices like this available throughout your week, I’d love to invite you into my Wholeness Meditation Experience.

Since launching the app in January 2024, I’ve created around 70 guided meditations and practices, including Christ-focused EFT tapping, somatic nervous system practices, breathwork, mindset renewal, emotional healing, and guided times of connecting with Jesus.

There are shorter practices for busy days and longer experiences when you’d like a little more time to go deeper.

The app is available for $10/month, with new practices added regularly.

Explore the Wholeness Meditation Experience →

My hope is that these become resources you can return to again and again, learning to experience more peace, restoration, and connection with God in the midst of everyday life.

With love,

Kirsten

Sources and further reading