When you think of “health & wellness” what do you typically think of?
My guess would be a fit and healthy body built on healthy nutrition and healthy exercise. Or perhaps it might be a global overall feeling of at your best in your physical body, emotions, and mind.
In fact, most conversations I have with people around health and wellness are around types of foods, exercise routines, sleep, and maybe a few who are interested in essential oils or various herbs that can heal the body.
For some reason, we don’t really have a culture in our Western society of viewing ourselves as whole people where every area of our lives is intertwined. Many cultures are still deeply founded on the fact that emotions affect our bodies, stressful jobs affect our families and our health, our foods affect our emotions, and around and around we go.
There is a saying out there that I love using, which is called “H.A.L.T.” and it stands for: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Essentially what it’s saying is, if any of these are true, then stop. Don’t analyze your life, don’t base anything on how you feel, but deal immediately with the other issues before moving forward.
I’d like to propose that we should do this with every area of our life. Sometimes we do need to put things on hold until we have the time, space, or energy to focus on that area. There’s a time and a place for those things. Just don’t let them go too long because that’s what gets us off balance.
However, if I could give you one thing to make a habit the rest of your life, it would be daily, regular forgiveness.
Yes, that’s right: a practice of daily forgiveness.
You might be thinking, “you don’t know what I’ve been through?” or conversely, you may even be thinking “I’ve already done that and have no one to forgive”.
What I’ve noticed working with a lot of people over time is that forgiveness is like a key that unlocks blockages both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It is a component of our lives that we rarely talk about, nor do we really pursue.
What it isn’t
Now, if you’re still with me at this point, then you may have a few questions. I’ve worked with a lot of people through trauma and various emotional blocks and I am well aware of the challenges of forgiveness. I know that it’s not easy.
I helps to know what forgiveness is not. When you forgive someone:
- You are not letting them off the hook.
- You are not saying what they did was okay.
- You are not relinquishing power and protection.
- You also don’t need to reconcile with the person (sometimes that’s not safe).
“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” — Ann Landers
What it is
A fun little search online gave me this great definition on Wikipedia (don’t worry, I don’t use Wiki as my source of knowledge).
“Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, forswears recompense from or punishment of the offender …”
As with the quote above by Ann Landers, unforgiveness or resentment is the act of voluntarily choosing to hold someone accountable internally. No one else knows about it. Have you ever had a conversation in your head with someone? It’s as if they are inside your head.
Another great quote by Marianne Williamson was this: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”
If unforgiveness is like a poison inside, then what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is a healing balm through your whole body. Forgiveness releases life and hope. When you forgive, you release someone from inside of yourself. You release the judgement, anger and bitterness towards them. Depending on how hurt you are, it may take time for the pain itself to heal, but it will come much easier as you forgive them and allow your heart to heal without the walls of unforgiveness up. It’s an inside job that no one else can do.
A simple way to forgive
Close your eyes and ask if there is anyone you need to forgive. If one person comes to mind, then take a moment and think about what you need to forgive them for. You will simply state:
“I choose to forgive _______ (name) for _________ (be specific). I release them from my judgement. And I choose to bless them.”
Sometimes when someone has really hurt me, I’ve needed to say it over and over until I can feel it release. I may also have many offenses against a person that come up as I say what I’m forgiving for. I find that as people experience forgiveness over one area, they want to release it over as many areas as possible.
Take your time. You may need to grieve over what was lost, hurt, or done in the process. The outcome and relief you will feel is worth it.
Your mind, body, soul, emotions and spirit will all thank you.
A powerful combination
Now, if you add a moment of thankfulness to the end of your time of forgiving, you will increase your healing, your breakthrough, and the ability to walk away from past grievances by focusing on the things that you do have and are grateful for.
Recipe for healing:
Doing this process at the end of each day will release healing and breakthrough in your life:
Place 6-7 drops of Frankincense oil in a diffuser, or rub 1-2 drops on your hands and gently take some deep breaths as you breathe it in from your hands. (No need to ingest).
Take some deep breaths. Close your eyes. Ask if there is anyone you need to forgive. If someone comes to mind, go through the forgiveness process and release them.
Now that you’ve released them, take some time to ask if there are things you can be grateful for. Take some moments to be thankful and reflect on all the things you’re grateful for.
Be blessed today as you venture out and explore emotional and physical healing.
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Kirsten Larsen is a wholeness coach, helping people experience freedom and breakthrough in body, soul, and spirit.
